Ramadan Reflections, Week ...Ooops

A week ago from Monday, I was able to participate in a full day's fast from sunrise, waking up at 4:30 to eat breakfast, til sunset. My day was such that I wasn't required to do a lot of rigorous work, and at this point in my modified fasting (eating breakfast in the mornings past sunrise, but fasting til sunset) my stomach was waking me up at 4:30a.

After the full day experience, Wednesday came with a familiar tickle in my throat. I decided to break my fasting that day because I felt a cold coming on, and I knew sickness was a reason Muslims allowed themselves to break fast. I did what was needed to take care of myself, and of course, learned some cool lessons along the way.

This last week of Ramadan may have started with sickness, but Friday night was probably the best part of this experience. 10 people from my church and a family I homeschool taught came together for an Iftar. The family hosted and invited other members from their Muslim community, even a Muslim Harvard lecturer who happened to be in town.

I got chills the whole night as saw Muslim women sitting next to my church friends to initiate conversation about Ramadan, life, their families. When it came time for the call to prayer, the 11 yr old boy I once tutored opened in the traditional song-prayer, while the other children passed out dates, juice, and other delicious finger foods with which to break fast.

During Maghrib, our Muslim brothers and sisters allowed us to join them in their evening prayers. To my surprise, all of the people from church had brought scarves with which to cover their heads--having already researched or known that it's proper for women to do so during prayer.

We all joined in a bigger conversation after an AMAZING meal, saying thanks and sharing gratitude to each other for hosting, opening their hearts, for inviting us, for open minds.

I sat back, drunk in joy and gratitude and peace and love. From Muslims and Christians, I heard people asking for more get togethers just like this--to break down barriers, to offer love, to show the world we need each other. I can't say enough about that night. And yet I'm still speechless.

I hope to come back with more processing and maybe more words about my experience. But for now...

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"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase "each other" doesn't make any sense.”

-Rumi

Ramadan Week 3 Reflections

Week 3. Tired. Hungry. Angry. Hangry. Easily irritated. Quickly fatigued. Uncomfortable emotions more readily present.

These are just a few things I'm experiencing that have been challenging. Extremely challenging. 

I've gotten myself into some trouble, too, by allowing my emotions to override my brain. It's tough. Because I'm tired and hungry, everything is right at the surface.

As a therapist, I love this challenge. It makes me take time to really take care of myself and check in with how I'm feeling. I'm not your average therapist--I'm still learning a lot about emotions because I grew up with a limited range of them: happy and angry-because-I-didn't-get-my-way. So these ever present emotions during Ramadan have challenged me to sit with some uncomfortable feelings and remind myself no feeling is final.

I've recognized I've become more attuned to my connection with Allah/God/Spirituality and greater humanity. I'm in an interesting place spiritually, but that's another blog for another day. Suffice it to say, my Ramadan experience--no, wait, OUR Ramadan experience--gives me a passion for accepting, loving and learning from people of all religions; a passion for a peace that I desire but have very little knowledge about. I confess--I'm still learning the ins and outs of why war and violence go on in the Middle East among religious factions.

I've become very passionate about letting others know, too, that my Muslim brothers and sisters are NOT ISIS. They are not the war portrayed in the media. They are not hateful. I have found the very opposite to be true: they are much more loving and peace oriented than myself and many of my Christian brothers and sisters.

I guess one Ramadan theme that keeps popping up is this...I'm still learning. We're still learning. But from what I've seen, many of us are willing to get messy, make mistakes, say the wrong thing, amend it, and continue on a trajectory of love. And peace. And sharing stories.

May you find similar peace giving, peace bringing themes in your Ramadan, no, our Ramadan experience.
Salaam,
Katy