Chemo Day 3

Yesterday I promised more than one post, and I lied. I got stuck on a crossword puzzle instead. But I do have one more story from yesterday. There are volunteers here who wear a green scrub vest and walk around to check on the patients, see if they need something to drink or need a blanket. Mr. Fred was our volunteer Monday and yesterday. He came over to mom to talk to her a little bit. He had colon cancer about 4 or 5 years ago. It hasn't come back since, but he has to have colonoscopies every year and every year they find precancerous stuff and have to remove it. Crazy. He and mom shared their stories. He was a cute old man, and we were both sad to hear he was married.

Today is the last day of chemo. Mom took home a pump yesterday. It looks like a weird purse she carries that holds a bag of chemo that gets pumped throughout a 24 hour period. She handled it well last night. We went to Target, shopped some, made our own mozzarella breadsticks! SO GOOD. 2/3 c milk, 2 1/4 c of bisquick, mix em together, knead it, roll it thin about 1/4 inch. and cut 6 x 2 1/2 inch rectangles out of the dough. about 8 rectangles. unwrap 8 string cheeses, and wrap each one with the dough. bake & YUMMMMMM. We caved in for dinner and had Marie Calendar's chicken pot pie. SO Good. It has magical healing powers, I'm convinced, especially with this stupid cold that will not go away. So if you need comfort foods, we've learned in the past 48 hours that MC's Chicken pot pie, homemade cheese sticks, and poached eggs are just what the doc ordered.

This morning we're back in our normal circle. Though we were scheduled a little later than the last two days, so someone got mom's "seat". We're just one over, but still in view of the GYN circle so she can see her friend that comes the same days as her. She's a cute little black lady we'll name Gretta because she looks sweet n southern. Gretta has had nurses poking her for the past 45 minutes to get the IV in her vein. I guess she doesn't have an easy access port in her chest like mom. Each time it looks like they got the vein, mom gives Gretta the thumbs up sign or holds her hands in prayer like she's praying for it to go in. So cute.

Today is a hard day for mom. She woke up feeling nauseous. I dropped whatever I was doing to help her out. But the moment she asked me to look for a shirt for her to wear I knew she was fine because she kept saying no to whatever I picked out. And I noticed she had her make up on. And when I was ushering her downstairs to get in the car, she threw her hands up and said, "I can't forget my earrings like yesterday!" So, she is feeling sick, but she is fine and functioning well. She did cry in the waiting room and when she saw Nurse Tess. She's just scared, and really didn't want to feel bad. But she got nausea meds and is fine now. PTL. She really wanted to be able to do this on her own this time. I said if she's sad because she has to depend on other people, then she needed to put on her big girl panties and get over it. Of course I said it with love and in hopes of making her laugh. I was successful. I think and pray she'll be ok the next couple of days. But the drug she got in the pump yesterday is the kicker.

She's asleep now. Nurse Tess assured her she's going to be fine and a little crying was good for the soul. She never cries, so I'm glad to see she is. I will admit, it is really tough to see your parent in emotional and physical pain. But, this is what I've read over and over lately and gives me great hope:

" and my soul is downcast within me.

²¹ Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

²² Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

²⁴ I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

²⁷ It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young." Lamentations 3:20-27

and...this response from Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego when they're about to be thrown into a furnace because they won't bow down to the king and his statues:

"O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. ¹⁷ If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. ¹⁸ But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

Daniel 3:16-18

KAMJ The Threequel part 2

Day 2 of Chemo #1 of 4.

We just had a great 10 minute talk with our nurse Tess. She said she grew up Catholic, but she never understood the Bible until after she accepted Christ not long ago. How exciting for mom. And to hear Tess's story was encouraging, too. It gives peace to know she is praying over mom and treatment.

Today is a long day for mom. I'm sure I'll post more than once. Right now it's quiet. Lots of similar faces from yesterday, and not just the staff. One lady is across from mom and was there yesterday. I'll keep you posted.

Mom and I playing with my new mac! This is her in chemo, listening to her tunes.

KAMJ The Threequel

currently at the South Carolina Oncology Association center with mom. Getting ready to jump in to yet another cancer treatment. Let's recap her year...

Jan-June: 8 chemo treatments for Lymphoma: B Cell Follicular

July: breast cancer surgery

July/October: br cancer followups/procedures

November: last br cancer surgery/chemo IV port pulled

November: node biopsy & IV port put right back in

December: begins first of 4 new chemo regiment for Lymphoma: Large Diffuse B Cell (apparently it likes to transform from one type to another)

Superwoman?! I THINK SO!!!

This is a little ridiculous...they won't be able to give mom one of her chemo meds (not truly chemo, but a highly used and notable treatment) today because medicaid won't cover more than 8 and she has already had 8 in her previous battle. We almost didn't do chemo at all today because of it. Ridiculous. HOw can health insurance put a cap on that? (Ok don't freak out because I'm not saying public option would help, at all).

So...like last time, I have stories to tell from the chemo lounge! Just to paint the picture... This is a room of lots of windows to bring in the sun light. Lots of lounge chairs for the patients, with their IV poles (the one mom likes to dance with...YIKES!!) next to them. The chairs are all sort of in rows, but more like a really nice lounge with pretty wooden floors-and a soda machine!, not like a hospital waiting room. SO...story time

Right as we sat down, I noticed a group of ladies behind us. One of the ladies looks about fiftyish, short hair like she's already been through one set of treatments and back for another round. Sad. But she is hilarious! She had her whole group of four or five ladies just cracking up! At first glance you can't tell these people aren't sick. I mean, they look normal. They're all smiles unless they're asleep. I tried to encourage mom to pick a lounge chair in her circle. But, she got one behind them.

Busy day, monday after Christmas. All seats are occupied. They even have 2 private treatment rooms and one of them, I kid you not, has purple and orange chairs!! Clemson! Sad to say we did not opt for those. Tess is mom's nurse, usually how it goes. Tess received another patient but the chairs were all taken, so she started joking, saying the lady could come sit in this man's lap, that he wouldn't mind. All of us in the circle were laughing, those of us still awake.

But now, I just checked back at the circle behind mom, the one that wouldn't stop giggling. They're all knocked out on benadryl or atavan. Too funny. Oh, mom just laid her lounge chair back. 5...4...3...2....1....she's out. Actually, I'm lying. But that's how it would be. Today she doesn't get the benadryl. I'll be back with new stories soon. If not today, we're back here tomorrow and wednesday!

Slaccckkker

Sooo, I haven't had anything to write about for training lately. Hence no updates. However, I'll give a short one on my own accord.

Thanksgiving was interesting. Between the chaos of all my family living in South Carolina & trying to see everyone...on top of mourning a horrible clemson football loss, I'd say it didn't go as I had expected. But it was restful after all the birthday celebrations, turkey eating, and tears shed over the tigers. My favorite part was piecing a puzzle together with mom and with the cats in the middle of it.

I do have news on the mom. She's going in for more scans due to some swollen lymph nodes, and it's not looking like good news. Biopsy is next Monday. Please be praying for her.
I spent some time reading the story about Job, a guy in the Bible who keeps asking God, "why me" after lots of crap happens to him. I'm not so much asking the question. I was more interested in how God responded. It was crazy. He talks about the alligator for almost 30 verses. To summarize, if God can create the giraffe to have a long crazy neck and the alligator's scales and teeth and keep the moon in orbit and know every star by name, why should I worry. He has the power to give and take away. That'ssss a lot of power. But His interest is only the best for me. So I think I'll rest and let Him take care of mom...and me.

I'll stick in Texas until mom says she needs me. If it's lymphoma again, she should be able to just do more chemo, hopefully without complication, and I might be able to stay here if she handles it as well as she did last time. We'll see! Thanks for praying :)
Love y'all!

Assignment #11

Somehow I skipped assignment 11, but shhhh we won't tell my trainer! :)
This week's leading question is:

My sleeping, exercise, and eating habits are...
Well, sleep is a necessity or my body crashes within a few days whether I like it or not. This is actually nice, because it helps me draw boundaries. The last two weeks were intense, and I ended up sleeping through a cross country practice. I needed it though. It was only a pool work out, and usually you can't tell if someone misses that practice or not. But oh no. I was given much grief by the students about not coming, all in love though. And I did feel loved that they noticed. So sleep for me is only an issue when my brain won't stop working.

Exercise...PLENTY! I actually went to a physical therapist to get my back and neck checked out. The first words out of his mouth, after explaining to him my physical activities, were "Have you ever thought that you might be doing too much?" If I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me...! The back and neck issues were just tight muscles due to all my running, soccer playing, and horseback riding. So, yes. I exercise well! Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I help AND work out with the cross country team as a volunteer coach. Mon & Wed we do sprints & recovery (about 5-8 miles worth of of quick, short distances with short recovery time). Today I cut back a little on how many I did since the PT's comment. Fridays are fun, we swim for an hour at the pool!! Though waking up at 5:30 is NOT fun, but worth it. Mon-Wed & Saturdays I ride or train two horses a day. Then, I play indoor soccer Saturday nights. I was kind of hoping to be able to play tennis once a week, but I think I'll wait til cross country is done. :)

Eating...probably too much! Since we got the new and fabulous Yogurtville, a buffet of frozen yogurts AND toppings!!! costing only 35 cents per oz, sadly I've become an addict. Although, it is frozen yogurt and not ice cream. Surely there are some health benefits!

My eating habits have probably gotten healthier since Dallas has joined the band wagon of everything organic. I attempt to buy organic veggies and fruits when they're affordable. I've heard the pesticides used on non-organic are detrimental. My meats I usually buy free of hormones and preservatives, too. My favorite meal/snack of late is strawberry spinach & vinaigrette salads. I could almost live on these! (Strawberries, almonds, feta-or goat cheese, spinach, and any vinaigrette you choose!). Then rice sesame crackers on the side are my new fav too! I'm still stuck on (organic) Peanut butter and (not so organic) Jelly sandwiches for lunch. They're just a classic that will never fade! Then, I usually drink Bengal Spice herbal decaf tea five or eight times a week (TRY IT!!!!). Throw in some hot dogs, chicken, subway sandwiches, lean cuisines, cereal, and lots of dessert... I probably eat ok for as much exercise as I do. As the motto goes, you can't have dessert without dinner! :)

Colorado and The Land of Pearls, Polos, and Tiger Paws,

Colorado was amazing, as always. This year I ventured out by car to drive the 12 hours to Colorado Springs to spend the night with my Clemson buddy.
The drive was quite a bit different than driving I20 from Dallas to Columbia, SC. I believe I passed more cows than cars. On my way back, I wrangled my coworker into following me back so I wouldn't get stranded alone if anything had happened.
The first two weeks of Colorado were spent in Estes Park for our Rocky Mountain Getaway summer camp for the students and then, a long weekend with some other staff friends in a cabin in Beaver Creek near Vail.
The camp went very well! I helped with registration and housing and even managed to put accidentally put 8 people in a 4 person room! Thankfully everything got situated. This year five girls from Frisco came, and they each loved it! One of my highlights with them was hiking Eagle Cliff. The view was exquisite. We were able to see part of Rocky Mountain National Park. At the top of our climb I pointed out the treeline on the mountains. I explained to them what a treeline is and why it exists, that the oxygen is too thin for much vegetation. Then I compared it to the valley where everything was in full bloom. I paralleled it to their experience this summer, letting them know that summer camps and big events centered around God are amazing and like the mountain tops in life. But it's the valley where everything grows, and I reminded them that leaving camp is inevitable. That reality will hit, but their relationship with God will grow if they spend time with Him.
After camp, I headed home to the land of polos, pearls, and tiger paws...good ole south cakalaky. I spent time with mom, getting the house cleaned, repainted, doing yard work, before her mastectomy. These past seven months have really grown us closer which I have loved! To make a short story long, mom is now cancer free, and her recovery went fabulously! She will be heading out to Dallas to walk with me and some students in a Leukemia & Lymphoma Society walk (Light the Night).
After playing nurse niles (or general niles, mom calls me because I 'force' her to do everything the doctor says), I returned to Colorado for our National Staff Conference for everyone on staff with CCC. It was such a refreshing week. We heard deep, profound messages that we all needed to be reminded of. One of my favorites was Tim Keller. He reminded us that the gospel is not just the gospel. That it is the story of going from death to hope and life, and our lives are to be a response of the One who first loved us. I also enjoyed Larry Crabb's seminar and talk on communication climates, how to listen better. Made me feel quite guilty at just how self-obsessed I am!
Well, now I'm back in Tejas. I've been back for a week, and have already landed a new hobby. I find small delights in scouring WalMart and Lowe's for half dying plants for under two dollars. I buy them, bring them back home, and try a little of my own raising from the dead :) So far, I've been successful with one fern. We'll see how the other two cope the next few days. My best find was a another fern I got today for 50cents. He was a little more than half past dead. I'll keep you updated.
Sadly I was spoiled this summer with the cool weather in Colorado and shockingly mild weather in SC. Dallas has hit 100 almost everyday since I've been back for a week now. That hasn't stopped the cross country team from practicing each morning. I join them about every other day, and I'm already meeting the new freshmen.
School starts in two weeks! Continue to pray for the students at Frisco, especially the incoming freshmen. We hope to gather a lot of students who are interested in knowing more about God from this year's new class.
Ok this was my attempt to write a short summary of my summer. :) I intend on keeping this updated a little better this semester!

Assignment #9 (Last One for Year 1 of Training!)

I have found myself clinging to some promises of God this year such as...

"But if we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves, but if we confess them to him, he is just and faithful to forgive us and cleanse us of all wrong." 1 John 1:8-9

"For now there is no condemnation..." Romans 8:1

"...for I am the Lord who heals you." Exodus 15:27

The 1 John verses I read just a few weeks ago. The promise is God is faithful about forgiving us when we confess our sins. But I like the extra part, he doesn't just forgive, he cleanses us of all wrong. That's freeing. I can be self critical when I make mistakes/sin. But I am not God, He is. And He is faithful to wipe my slate clean. These verses have been revitalizing for the past month. I've shown them to some students, and their response was, "So this means God has forgotten my past" which for them can be really freeing.

The Romans 8:1 verse has just recently been a huge encouragement. With my self criticism comes self condemnation. Any time I do something wrong, I get down on myself and feel guilty/bad for it for a while-even if it's just saying something to a roommate that came out the wrong way unintentionally. Also, lately, I think the enemy has played up on this weakness and has made me feel guilty-usually it is because I feel like I am not living up to a certain standard or doing enough ministry. But God doesn't love us more or less if we live up to particular level of goodness or if we fail 77 times. Lately, I have been trying to constantly remind myself of this promise and live in that freedom. God has been trying to help as well. A few devotionals, sermons, and many conversations with one roommate and a long distance friend have centered around this promise.

The Exodus verse is one I just read yesterday. The Israelites just left Egypt through the Red Sea, and God just changed the bitter water of Marah to sweet water. God tells Moses, If you listen carefully to my voice and obey, I will not make you suffer the same plagues as the Egyptians did before..."for I am the Lord who heals you." That is the context of the verse, but for me, it's a reminder that God heals. This has been crucial in the past 4 months with mom's cancer and all of the emotional and mental stress that comes along with it. I have comfort in knowing He can (and has been) healing mom. I have comfort in knowing He will heal me in time from the rollercoaster of events. I know He will heal me of many things I don't even know of. But I know I, and all of the students I see, are shattered or broken, and God's promise is that He heals.

Assignment #8

Seeing a new movement planted and growing makes me think of...
Orchids and my neighbor Tashia. They are, in my opinion, easy to plant, but really hard to keep growing.

Last Valentine's Day, I bought flowers for my mom and our close friend/neighbor Tashia. I happened to find a beautiful white and purple orchid that had been priced incorrectly. Instead of paying nearly $30, I bought it for $7! Tashia has always wanted an orchid, but you could give her fake flowers and she'd kill them. Not a green thumb on either hand. I really wanted to give it to her anyways, especially since I got it for cheap!
I visited Tash this past weekend for our annual family/neighborhood Easter dinner. I looked for the orchid, but I could guess its fate. It had died only a couple weeks after Valentine's Day.
I say movements are like orchids because you just stick a bulb in the ground and water it (or in my case, allow Home Depot to do the dirty work). But keeping it growing is a very different story. I have really enjoyed helping start a movement at Frisco. The ministry there is fairly young, and I'm the first female staff to be assigned there full time. Building relationships with coaches, students and faculty has been one of my favorite parts of my job.
The toughest part, and I believe I've mentioned it before, is continuing to keep students involved. I need to spend more time in praying for the movement to keep growing. Actually a lot more praying about many things is really what I need to do. It's tough to keep students involved when they're too busy or just don't know enough about Student Venture.
I think seeing and experiencing a movement is different each year. You see different students come and go, seniors graduate, new freshmen each year. This is one reason I really want to be part of this ministry for 4-6 years.

Assignment #...?? 7?

Back in Texas! Which means...back to training! If you remember, I had been answering some prompts from my training journal. I think this is assignment #7 or 6...or maybe 5.. :)

Leadership is...
--noun (def) a group of leaders (www.dictionary.com)
Katy's Definition: a group of many who wear a lot of different hats and something that is hard to maintain.

Wearers of Many Hats: I say this because I know among our staff team, we are leaders, and we were many different hats. We lead students, we help students lead students, we follow Christ, we follow the older, much wiser (and greyer haired;) staff, we lead each other, we are encouragers, we are pray-ers, we are ambassadors. I think the key role though of a leader is first becoming a humble follower (of Christ, of other leaders). I'll get back to you on that one when I've figured that one out. ;) That might be one of those life lessons that I'll keep on learning, much like waiting.

Hard to maintain: In Frisco, our leadership team of students has dwindled. It is hard to get students to commit because they are overcommitted or they decide to veer off in their on direction instead of the Lord's. I think challenging leader-type students can be hard for me because I feel like I could do the job better. Which probably is true, but for the students it is a great life experience. And it's not about who can do a better job, but what they can learn from the position and what others around them can learn from the leaders, as well.

Chemo Numero Dos Part Dos

YAY! got thru the rituxan without a rash this time! yeehaw! More fun stories...A lady just walked in for a treatment. Loud New Yorkie I think, but cracking me up!! Everyone's commenting on her sassy hair. Now she's telling how her Korean neighbor cut it and while she was styling it, sassy hair lady's scalp started to her because Korean hair lady pulled hard on her tufts of newly grown hair while highlighting it. So sassy lady says "Ow! Ow! That hurts!" and Korean hair lady spins her around in that chair and says "booty is pain! coco chanel" ahahha.

Now Sassy Hair Lady is telling the story of how she made her oncology doctor mad, he told her if she wanted to reconcile she had to bring him his two favorite things: M&Ms and alcohol. So she found alcohol-in-a-juice-box and brought it to him! (Who makes those and why!?!?haha). MY question is what happens if his kids go in to the fridge and find "daddy's juice box" and confuse it for their Caprisun?

SHL also brought in a nice looking guy and someone asked her who he was and she said, "Nothin but a bit of eye candy". Ahhh freakin hilarious! They need a surgeon general warning on the chemo: "Caution, cancer will cause humor, need for eye candy, and sassy hair!"

Chemo Treatment Numero Dos

I'm currently sitting with mom while she's zonked out on benadryl and starting chemo! So far, no funny comments have been made. But it was quite evident when the benadryl started to work. Her words began to slur and she looked like she was going to drop in to a narcoleptic nap.

The nurses here crack me up. One of them was talking to a couple of her patients about the chemo they would get. And she looks at one female patient, pointed to a male patient next to them and said, "Yep, it's some good stuff. Completely cured this man of his ovarian cancer! Not a trace of it left!" hahahahaah. Then she went on to tell some story about her friend's water bra springing a leak...quite an adventure if I don't say so myself!

Well, we'd appreciate it if you could be praying for a good response today. Mom got a ct scan this morning, and we measured the difference of her nodes pre-chemo, and post-first treatment. Most of them are AT LEAST a third size smaller! PTL!!!!!! The ones in her chest and upper torso, all normal sizes now!! The ones below need a lil more work. But that's what we're her for this AM. Alrighty, I'm going to get started on my list of dvds to watch. Below are some good ones mom and I suggest!

Far and Away (Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman)
Enchanted (Amy Adams)
Snatch (Brad Pitt, beware, a guy's movie..guns, diamonds, boxing)
Mickey Blue Eyes (Hugh Grant)

PS Longer Letter Later

Oops, I cut his face off. But I like the horsey :)

So...Jan 31, a month after my last update...and I'm still in Columbia. Most of you know mom was in the hospital for 14 days getting fluid drained out of the pleura of her lung (a coke bottle and a half, at LEAST) plus getting many other tests done. In case you haven't heard, she has been diagnosed with Nonhodgkins Lymphoma and is expected to live as long as she stops trying to lift furniture by herself. No kidding, the 3rd day we were home from the hospital, the dining room table was off-center, so she decided to try to move it back...I about had a heart attack.

Nonhodgkins Lymphoma is a cancer of the lymph nodes which are a big part of your immune system. If you feel your neck when you're sick, you can feel little knots or bumps, and those are your lymph nodes, and they're swollen because they're furiously at work. The lymphocytes are the body's 3rd line of defense, and that's more specifically where the cancer is. But even within that there are different types of cells, B-cell, T-cell. etc etc. (ps, don't quote me on all of this). Though it messes with your immune system, it's actually one of the easier cancers to handle. You just chemo it into remission or until it's cured. If it's not cured, and it comes back 5,10,15 years later, you just chemo it again. Not many people die from it unless they have a very rare form or unless they can't accept chemo due to health implications.

If you want to learn more google Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. There's even a place to buy the livestrong bracelets, but they're different colors for different types of cancer.

So far, chemo treatment #1 is gone and done, and mom saw very little side affects. Her hair is falling out, but hey, better to turn loose than grey! no wait... I think I got that wrong...and I think the old guys I work with are the only ones who quote that...

I'll keep you posted on how we're doing. I do expect to return to Dallas if mom handles the next 2 treatments as swimmingly as before.