August 28th, Glory of a Better Story

I haven’t been writing because I haven’t been back to the street. Someone asked me the other day if there really is a street named Glory Lane. There really is. This isn’t a metaphor. I just stumbled upon it one day in the middle of one of my therapeutic runs. And every time I go, I learn something, or don’t, but I meet God. In the midst of chaos, pain, joy, all of it.

And I think He wants that from us. He won’t beg for it or force it. I like that. But He waits. The patient kind of waiting. Not the foot-tapping-mad kind of waiting your parents would do when you wouldn’t come in for dinner on time.

As for running, I continue to. I’m actually training for a triathlon in October. I was reading Donald Miller’s A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. I’ve mentioned him before and his book that asks each of us to live a better story for our lives. In his book, he realizes he’s just existing in life. That he’s kind of a boring guy. He mentions that it doesn’t take much to live a better, more thrilling life, you just have to try.

Well, I’m still trying to figure out I’m doing this part of my life, so I decided to live out a good story while I try to learn what it is I’m looking for. That’s where the triathlon comes in. Since about April or May, I’ve wanted to do this. A sprint tri, the shorter distance ones, but still insanely hard.

Oct 17^th I will be running 3.1 miles, swimming 250 meters, and biking 16 miles. Right now, I’m at 6 miles running, 0 meters swimming, and maybe 4-6 miles biking. I have an incredibly long way to go. But I’m kind of excited.

If you’re like me, in the middle of transition and not quite sure where the next step is, I encourage you to put something in front of you. Like a marathon, or if you’re a little more level headed, a half marathon. My friend in LA is stuck in a job that she hates and loves at the same time, and is almost to the point where the hateful parts aren’t making any of it worth her time. But she needs to pay off loans, etc. So she put something in front of her. She called me up today so excited I could feel the energy through the phone. She’s doing something totally different than what I thought of. She’s volunteering time for a domestic abuse hotline that requires 40 hours of intensive training and a once a week, 5 month commitment. By the time she’s done, she’ll be a certified domestic abuse counselor, which happens to be extremely helpful with her job.

That’s a great idea, too. You can even drag someone else in to your making-a-better-story plan. Tonight I took one of the kids I’m living with to the lake to watch the sunset. Not a typical thing we do. She got to watch the sun literally sink down second by second until it disappeared. We thought it was pretty cool. Nothing huge and earth shattering, but something that makes for a better story when the day is done rather than sitting on the couch watching the tv til bed time.

I think we naturally find glory when we try to write a different or better story for ourselves. And the end goal is incredibly glorious: to sit with God at the end of life, watching a slide show of pictures of my life and my stories...and learning the meaning behind them and the depth or just enjoying reminiscing. A place with no guilt, no condemnation, but love, joy, and lots of oohs and ahhs and knee slappin' laughter.

August 14th, Scripts

Me and my team in Haiti on a weekend trip to Jacmel.

Back from my reading and writing boycott. Just needed to clear my head so I can figure out some things. Like, what am I doing with my life.

I'm willing to bet I’m not the only one with this question. And after talking to some wiser (older) friends, I think this is a question we run in to more than once or twice in our lives.

I went running a couple weeks ago, and took a long walk break on Glory Lane. It was H-O-freakin-T. But it gave me a chance to think about all the things our family, friends, and culture tell us about how to live life and what to do with it. These are things we sometimes end up believing even without realizing it. For example…

“You’re 22, and…single?!” (You should be married by now)

“You’re how old and still in school?” (When are you going to grow up)

“You mean, you’re not using your degree?” (When are you going to get a real job)

“So, you’re a missionary/youth pastor/work with a church?” (That’s why you’re not driving a BMW Z93282312156)

“You have a kid, and you live in an apartment?” (All good parents provide a backyard for their children)

“I can’t do lunch tomorrow. Remember, I work.” (When are you going to get a full time job and pull your weight in the world)

“Where are you living now?” (When are you going to settle down)

I’m sure you could add your own to the list. And I think it’s wise to sit down and look at the things (Stephen Covey calls them “scripts”) we grew up hearing, because sometimes we soak them in subconsciously, and some of them can end up make us miserable.

I started to settle in the past year, thinking I was going to live in Texas the rest of my life, get married, and have kids, mainly because that’s what most of my friends were doing, it’s what my family expected (minus the Texas part), and what society says is the next step for a 20something. When I started thinking like this, allowing other peoples’ scripts to mold my life, I began to suffocate. I kind of choked myself out of my life and lived other people’s expectations.

With lots of running, I’ve gone back and erased these scripts and written my own. So that I’m the one making the decisions and controlling my life, not someone else with their own standards.

I think what happens is people become dissatisfied and disappointed with their lives that they decide to run someone else’s. I can say this because I did it. I tried to run my roommate’s life and one of our intern’s by telling them what they could wear for work, what they should eat, and how they should manage their time. It sounds like I could have been giving them well-intentioned advice. I wasn’t. I was just miserable with myself. If I couldn’t manage the chaos in my life, then micromanaging someone else’s would make me feel like I had some sort of control over something.

And now, after going back and looking at these scripts...I know that living in Texas for the rest of my life isn’t my idea of fun, and I’m ok with saying that and owning it.

And, I don’t want to be married right now, and I’m not going to let society send me in to a panic stricken search for mister right because something must be wrong with me if I am 25 and don’t have a husband to give back massages to and cook for.

I almost started searching for a house to buy a year ago. Because I settled in to believing my job as a female is to host people, feed them, and entertain. I do love this type of stuff. But I’m not going to do it because it’s expected of me, because I "have" to. After being in Haiti, I learned that I LOVE sleeping outside, in a tent, that I can do without a house. While I can, I think I will. I bought a hammock the other day and intend on sleeping in it tonight, falling asleep to shooting stars and waking up to the sunrise.

My encouragement to you, no matter what your age or life stage, is to look at the scripts that you were raised with. Some are great, some are not. Some are good, but they’re not who you are, or maybe it’s just not the right season. Buying a house is awesome, but it’s not for me right now. Plus, it’s fun to totally break out of a mold and experience some new things. Two weeks ago, I met an 18 year old who is taking a year between high school and college to live overseas. A year ago, I met a man who has had more than ten different jobs in his life time and has some amazing stories to go with it, involving marrying his Eastern European bride and saving her from oppression in her country.

So...What are some scripts you’re living just because someone else wrote them for you? How would you rewrite it, if you want to?

Stuff Christians Like

While I'm on my writing and reading vacay, here's something fun for you to read. Especially check out the archives, find ones that sound interesting, read, and laugh.